"Hide it under a bushel no!...."

A couple of weeks ago I purchased a simple wooden cross incense for my car. I opened the package and after coughing and blowing my nose for 10 seconds quickly shoved it into my glove compartment and opened all of my windows. It didn't smell bad, there was just too much smell. After a while I didn't smell it anymore and decided that it had "toned down" enough for me to consider hanging it. The hesitation I felt at that moment, believe it or not, started me thinking. Why hesitate? I had for a long time decided I would not put any visual indicators of my faith on my car. I would not have anything to do with those WWJD bumper stickers or armbands. I would not invite other drivers to "honk for Jesus" or ask if they knew where they where going when they died. I felt comfortable with my decision not to advertise my faith, or to condense my beliefs to catchy sound bites that typically elicited only groans from non-believers. Spending more time on this during my walks from the parking lot to my office building, I realized that, of course, there were other underlying reasons for my stance. I came up with lots, but will share only two.

1. I was raised, from my father's side of things" to be very competitive. To see everything not only as a challenge, but one that I could with enough, knowledge, learning and force to conquer. In my father's world B's were great for some of my siblings, but for me A's were the expected result. So even though I grumble at the challenges I face (funny his teachings never gave me any help with how to go through them cheerfully), I perceive them as necessary and expected. Scriptures like Hebrews 12: 1 "...let us run the race with preserverance the race marked out for us" have long fit with that upbringing. The concept of working hard I can understand. But perhaps there's a flaw with perceiving the race as something goal-based; rather than process-based. It the "race" spoken of often in the Scriptures is goal based, then it is too tempting to want to be the one who sets the benchmarks, the rules, the rest stops (none) and the actual definition of the goal. If, instead, we see the goal as being process-based, then transformation becomes the goal. Since true transformation is not something you can necessarily do, it allows God through Jesus and the Holy Spirit to truly be "the author and perfecter of our faith." Hebrews 12:2 NIV Every detail is taken care of by His divine will. Our task is to be there, to provide a healthy body to be used (which in itself is enough work for any of us) and to run....In order to run, you have to have a focus, that again is...God.
   
2. The second issue that wafted to the top of my head was the fact that not having any exterior sense of what I believed, was for me, one of the only anonymity left me. When you see me, you immediately know that I am female and black. I have long wished that these two elements weren't the source of so many negative experiences, but...oh well. At least without a cross, no one could then berate me for every silly or worse evil thing (judgmental, I know, but I'm only human) another Christian does or says. I can be in the only way open to me (save the internet) anonymous. Strange, I thought. I proudly "sport" my allegiances to issues and secular beliefs, and without intending to proudly advertise all sorts of commercial ventures at my own cost....but not my sacred faith. Sure, there is something to be said for the Lutheran piety and the avoidance of the sin of pride at all costs. I certainly wouldn't want to be one of those hypocrites who "love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men." Mt. 6:5 But is that even the real reason. No, honestly I had to admit it was because I didn't want to have to make driving decisions based on my faith. Driving like the desire for some sense of anonymity are two of the little? things I have held onto. My nephew Eric once said to me when he was little "Gee auntie, you're so nice until you get behind the wheel." Of course, I laughed at his comment then. Now it comes back to haunt me as I think about the times I have justified being perturbed (Christian editing here) with other drivers and how many times I have thought my aggressive driving was necessary because Minnesotans drive like they "just got their license out of a box of Cracker Jacks"--a Williamsism. But would having a visual reminder of what set of rules and who should be behind even my driving driving decisions? Actually it does. we all need reminders of why we do what we do. Having the cross (now with a toned down fragrance) reminds me that I am "compelled by the love of God" 2Cor. 5:14

So not only does God start things, but because of His love for us and our love for Him, "love God and do what you will" (St. Augustine) I run and in running I am transformed. That transformation sets a new set of parameters around which all decisions, whether it is to honk your horn like a crazy lady because someone is impeding your progress to your destination...(maybe not anymore) are made. Maybe it is to use the opportunities presented by critics of Christians and Christianity to witness to the great love and yes wisdom of God.

Happy running! Warning: It is NOT low impact